By Brad Browning
From The Ex Factor Guide
If you can’t tell for sure if you’re over analyzing your ex’s behavior, then check this out…
Why Your Ex Gives You The ‘Hot & Cold’ Treatment
Today, I will help you understand why your ex-seems to be constantly sending you mixed messages.
This is very common after a breakup and my clients often complain about how their ex is giving them the “hot and cold treatment”
One day they’re telling you they miss you like crazy and seem to want to get back together. The next day they’re completely ignoring your calls and texts.
If you’ve been there yourself, you know how frustrating this can be. It’s kinda like they’ve got your emotions attached to a yo-yo. They’re giving you plenty of hope one day. Then crushing those hopes the next day after that.
Are you ready to hear this?
The first thing you should understand is that this type of behavior is completely normal. Your ex isn’t weird or unique because he or she gives you a positive vibe one day and then seems cold or completely indifferent the next day.
In my experience, women tend to be more likely to send these kinds of mixed messages after a breakup, but men are definitely guilty as well.
The bottom line is that it’s a very common thing.
Secondly, before I jump into talking about why they’re doing this and what it means. I want to warn you about trying to read too much into your ex’s actions and words. Sure, sometimes you can get a genuine idea of your ex’s feelings by reading between the lines, but it’s also very easy to over analyze or misinterpret things.
I’ll just say this: Try not to spend all your time thinking about things your ex has said or done.
That kind of stuff isn’t going to get you any closer to winning them back. It’s always better to focus on the things you can control than to stress about what your ex is saying or doing.
You want to know why your ex keeps giving you the ‘hot and cold’ treatment and what the hell it means for your chances of getting back together?
Well, typically this type of back-and-forth attitude is a result of your ex’s own internal struggles.
He or she has obviously decided at least rationally and consciously that your relationship isn’t worth pursuing – hence the breakup.
But just because they’ve chosen to end the relationship, doesn’t mean that your ex isn’t having second thoughts or struggling to adapt to life without you.
They’re probably just as heartbroken about the breakup as you are. And just like you, they’re on a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride.
Surely, you’ve had your ups and downs since the breakup as well, right?
When you’re out with your friends, having fun, everything seems okay. No crying, no sitting around thinking about how much life sucks and so on.
But an hour later, when you’re alone and your friends are no longer around to distract you, those emotions can sometimes come flooding back. And all of a sudden you feel the heartbreak and the loneliness again.
And your ex is experiencing the exact same emotional roller coaster.
One minute, they’re feeling confident about their decision to break up with you. Because life is going well, their mind is occupied and they’re not feeling those post-breakup emotions.
The next minute, they’re alone, missing you like crazy and they cave into these emotions and pick up their phone to call you or send you a text.
And keep in mind that your ex may also be struggling with their decision to break up with you.
Their head says that it’s the right choice and their heart says that they should run back to you and get back together so that their pain they’re experiencing will disappear.
If you’ve dumped someone before, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
The heartache that you feel after breaking up with someone can often cause you to give in to temptation and take them back, even when you know logically that it maybe a wrong decision to make.
When your ex is going through these same emotions, they’re usually going to have enough self-restraint to resist the temptation to run over to your house and ask to get back together.
But they may not be able to stop themselves from texting you to say that they miss you or calling you to chat because they’re lonely and missing your company.
On the other hand, when they’re feeling good or they’re keeping busy, then they’re not going to be feeling those downer emotions and they’re more likely to ignore your call or say something that gives the impression there’s no hope of ever getting back together.
Obviously, if you’re trying to rekindle things with your ex, then the fact that your ex is struggling with the decision to break up is good news for you.
When he or she tells you that they miss you or they seem to be affectionate on a particular day, those feelings are usually real but the problem is that your ex can usually squash those feelings with the rationale belief that breaking up was the right decision.
Taking advantage of your ex’s uneasiness and uncertainty about the decision to end your relationship is a key component of my Ex Factor Guide program, so if your ex is giving off the hot and cold messages, then head over to www.BreakupBrad.com and checkout my free video.
In it I talk more about how to overpower your ex’s logical, rational thinking and tap into their emotions, hopefully leading them to cave in and ask you to get back together and give the relationship another shot.
Again, the address for that video is BreakupBrad.com.
And I’ll put link to that in the description video below as well.
Now, there’s one other reason why your ex may be sending you mixed messages and that’s because they want to keep you around as a backup plan in case they decide the single life isn’t as great as they’d hoped it would be.
Sometimes this is something that people do without actually realizing it consciously but it’s still fairly common and if you think about it, it actually make a lot of sense.
I mean if your ex was the one to initiate the breakup and he or she knows you still want to be together with them then they’re in total control of the situation.
So, they’ll send you a series of confusing up-and-down messages that leave you thinking there’s still hope of getting back together, while they take the time to feel things out and see what life is like without you by their side.
This allows your ex to either enjoy the freedom of being single or to pursue other romantic options.
While they occasionally send you affectionate messages or signals to make sure you remain interested and don’t lose hope of getting back together.
Basically, this just gives your ex the best of both worlds. They get to break up with you and test out what it’s like to be single while they keep you as their backup plan, knowing you’ll jump at the chance to get back together if they ask.
And this is obviously a bit devious of your ex to play this kind of game and toy with your emotions just so they can keep their options open but again like I said, it’s also very common and completely logical from your ex’s perspective.
However, if you want to get back together with your ex, then you absolutely cannot let yourself fall into this trap and become your ex’s backup plan. It’s very dangerous to handover all the power and let your ex have total control.
Partly, you can escape this situation by using the No Contact method that I advocate in some of my other videos and in my other program.
Best of luck out there and I’ll talk to you soon!