Expert Dating and Relationships
Advice for Men and Women

Why its better when you’re older

Sometimes we’re tempted to think that the young people have all the fun. We remember how slim, trim, and sexy we were at twenty and wish that we still had that body.

We don’t always take time to APPRECIATE the benefits of not being twenty anymore!

That’s why I created this list of the top 10 reasons that love and dating is better once you’ve turned thirty. There are advantages to being that little bit older and wiser!

And if you have a friend in her thirties or worrying about turning thirty, forward this along to her!

TEN REASONS WHY DATING IS BETTER AFTER 30

10. You don’t have to worry about sneaking home at night and waking your parents.

One of the best things about dating when you’re in your thirties is that you are responsible for yourself. You can stay up late, invite him to your house for a nightcap, or stay over at his house without guilt. It’s your decision, because it’s your life.

9. You can afford nicer restaurants than McDonald’s.

I still remember my first date. We shared a strawberry milkshake at McDonald’s, and I was so starry-eyed with infatuation that anything would have tasted like ambrosia. Fortunately, my dinner dates these days are much healthier and better suited to romance.

8. You’re into something more than getting trashed on weekends.

By the time most of us reach our thirties, the novelty of getting drunk every weekend has usually worn off. Curling up next to one another on the sofa and watching a movie can feel just as pleasurable as clubbing until dawn.

7. You know a bit more about life and love.

One of the scariest things about dating when you’re a teenager is starting out from a state of ignorance. We’re not born knowing how it all works. As exciting as it feels to kiss a boy for the first time, that heady hormonal rush is tempered by anxiety. Very few people get through their early dating years without feeling paralyzed by a horrible fear of messing up. That’s why it’s so nice to have enough experience to be realistic about the whole process: dating can be disappointing, exciting, embarrassing, and exhilarating – sometimes all at the same time!

6. You no longer put up with the bullshit.

By the time you reach your thirties, you’ve gained a little wisdom when it comes to relationships. You can call a spade a spade. You value yourself enough to say “no” to a bad situation.

5. You can play the “Mrs. Robinson” card.

If it’s good enough for Demi Moore, it’s good enough for us! There’s nothing more fun than being the naughty “older” woman. You may even find that a lot of younger men are dreaming of a Mrs. Robinson to initiate them into the ways of love.

4. Your relationship has a greater chance of lasting.

Compared with couples who marry as teenagers or in their early twenties, your relationship will stand a greater chance of lasting if you wait to marry until AT LEAST your mid-twenties. This makes sense intuitively as well as statistically. When you marry at an older age, you know yourself better. You know what you can live with. You are both more financially stable. You’ve had enough dating experience to build some relationship skills.

3. The sex is better.

Whereas the male sex drive peaks in his late teens, the female sex drive is only revving up. Women hit their stride in their thirties, a period that often coincides with a greater body acceptance and a more relaxed attitude towards what happens in bed.

2. You can see what you’re getting with him.

When you’re dating in your teens and twenties, the energy and ambition of youth makes it difficult to clearly see who your partner will actually turn out to be. The young man who goes to Stanford for a business degree may drop out to flip burgers and play in a band. The local jock may become the paunchy middle manager whose idea of flexing his arm muscles is lifting a beer glass. Luckily, by the time a man reaches his thirties, his lifestyle choices will give you a good indication of where he sees himself going in life.

1. You’ve got more going on in your life than him.

Yes, for me the best part about being 30+ is that life is so much fuller, richer, and more satisfying than ever before. Whether you have a relationship or not, you’ve created a life that you can be proud of. You no longer depend on a man for your sense of self-worth. Dating is part of your life but not everything. As a result, relationships become something wonderful to be valued when you have them, but not despaired over when you don’t.

** Do you have any more reasons you would like to add? Feel free to add them in the comments section below.

21 Comment/s

21 Comments to 'Why its better when you’re older'

Pris

Hi Mirabelle,

Thank you for this post. I totally resonate with this. I’ve always thought my Golden Age (which is in my 20’s) was over, until one of my colleague told me her Golden Age only started at 30’s.

Some people even told me that time is running out. But I’m not rushing into relationships. And I know I don’t need a man to complete my life, instead, I want him to share the joy and bliss that is happening in my life right now.

I heard this quote somewhere:

“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.”

I believe this person will appear in my life. Soon. 🙂

Julia

Thanks for this list it makes me feel good to be 50 and having some of the best years of my life. My comment is that as an older woman I have the patience to wait and savor the relationship a little slower. Time does certainly tell. The true person comes out and I find after about 3 months, it is more clear who you are dating. People relax and are more authentic.

Good Woman

I am almost 40 and most men seen to want sex. The ones that may have some potential unfortunately I have to agree with the other comment, they are unattractive, unkept. Why is it hard to find someone on your level or close to it. I had a guy tell me, that I was out of his league. He already knew by looking at me. He said he wasn’t good looking enough for me and I am a beautiful full figured woman.
Men hit on me more when I was younger than now that I am older more mature.

John Howard

Keep searching girls. There are some good guys about, about the same number as good girls. I am 52+ and with careful selection, dating is better than ever, even WOW.

Chimwemwe

You make concrete dicitions when you are at thirties, and men admire women,who are independent not only finicialy but in mindset too.Thanks so much for producing such a clear lesson am proud of you continue.

Free

Looking back, yes, attracting, flirting, dating & making all the childish moves were easier 10 years back, but chances of making immature regretful emotional mistakes were higher too. I admit that I’m happier being 30 (though things aren’t as easy as 20) coz life has brought me so much experience & lessons to not make wrong moves again, & hence make dating a success 🙂

Loris

This is all true, the only thing I miss of my twenties is that VIBE and relax mode with guys “there going to be a lot of nexts”. Now at 45 I take every guy as the last carriage of the last train and it makes me anxious as I am afraid to lose the chance((.

Cyndy

I thought dating twenties was cool but i recently experienced that dating men in their thirties are more responsible and make a good home.

Christine

I just turned 45 and I’m beginning to feel like I’ll never find the right man. I’ve never been married and don’t know for sure If I have ever had a successful relationship as I’ve never really had many. I know I’ve been in love twice and got hurt both times. I’m currently extremely attracted to my 26 year old pharmacist who seems very mature caring and understanding. He seems to like me too, but I’m not sure and I’m not about to let him know how attracted I am to him. I want to get married and settle down for companionship. I support myself very well so it would not be about money. I feel lonely and want to know how it feels to have someone really love me for me. To know what it feels like to have a real, relationship where the other person actually cares about my feelings and what I want and shows it too. Being hurt makes me scared to really put myself out there and I don’t go out a lot. But I know I have to do something soon besides praying to find the right man.

Inger

Wonderful! I agree with you that it is better when you are older but to me being 30 is still very young. What about 70+? I wish someone would write about dating at that age, too. Maybe you think life is over by then but it isn’t! Far from it!

ruth

s a woman who is turning 65 this Christmas life has seen some fun relationships and several hard slog relationships as well as several marriages and you learn from them all. I move on pick up myself find my old positive happy self and currently have THE best relationship ever with a romantic, loving, caring affectionate, lively man met through an online dating site that has delivered me some amazing fun time men who, up until now, have found my working overseas just to hard to handle with only short breaks to come home for the next several years. The real person just hangs in and we have learnt so much about each other through our emails and frank phone calls and text messaging that the distance is a bonus not an obstacle. Our love for each other is so strong and our ability to read between the lines and really hear what the other person needs so finely tuned that our physical time together is in harmony and totally delightful without a minute being wasted on catching up we just go from where we last communicated and keep laughing. I loved dating in my twenties and this relationship has lit that old spark again with flirting and humour really re-energising my emotional self to its former level though the body is not as it was then.

Jasmine

I’m 24 years old and was dating a 56 year old guy with hopes of developing a long-lasting relationship with him because I thought he was everything I was looking for in a guy. See, women my age are always criticized for wanting to settle down with Mr. Right; I’ve been told numerous of times that I should “live my life spontaneously” and “have fun,” but honestly, I’m not that type of woman. At 24, my idea of fun is having a husband that will love me unconditionally as I will him, travel all over the world with me so that we can make memories together, and maybe about 3 years into our marriage, have kids. I know that’s not all that marriage is about, for it involves strong communication, loyalty, trust, love, commitment, and I can go on and on and on. May sound boring to some, but really, this is what I want and would love. But back to the 56 year old guy, I thought he was legit in every sense of the word, but he was far from it. I couldn’t believe the mentality this man had. And for those who say older is wiser couldn’t be furthest from the truth because with many, not saying all, but with many, with age does not come maturity! I honestly do not know about love anymore because it seems as though marriage and love do not hold the same values as it once did in the past.

Jessica

I couldn’t agree more with the comments above. I love to hear more about your stories.

Leila

I think it’s true that all these things contribute to having a great time in a relationship when you’re older. It’s tempting to say ‘well you have to say that if you’re not 20 anymore’, but I would add ‘how much of being 20 can you remember?’

FJ

My grandma remarried at age 78 and was very happy with him.

Ludah G.

I think the truth is about you and your own relationship with yourself, then you can handle the other person. Love yourself fully, appreciate yourself,have fun with yourself, be happy, make a bond with you, age will not matters because truly speaking no one will stay at those early ages forever,let us all admit that ageing is fun on it’s own. you get love at 50+ or at 70+ when you love yourself you will enjoy that life again. thank you Mira, I like your spot, keep educating us more…


Thank you Mirabelle for such an insightful and relevant article! Women are now just beginning to realise that age is the “gold” of experience that has been acquired over the years and is a priceless asset in romantic as well as platonic relationships with our male counterparts.

I’m eighty (80), happily married for 26 years now to a lovely man who is 21 years younger than I – however, this does not mean that I have to clothe myself in nun’s garb and stop smiling at the outside world! Here, I’ll whisper you a secret to have men at your feet regardless of your age: only you can create the excitement that your man feels every time he looks at you regardless of how long you’ve been together and this is in direct proportion to the male attraction that YOU can command in the outside world. He feels pride that you’re so desirable….he knows he must treat you like a precious jewel or risk losing you to another. The 21st century makes it such fun to be a woman, to smile seductively and look deeply into the eyes of an admirer, glory in your soft feminity and the allure of powerful womanhood at any age and yet, never cross the line. The best of both worlds is niow wide open to us, the “weaker sex”!

Happy mature

My Mum is remarrying at 73 after my father died 2 years ago. Hang in there girls it will happen for you.

Leila

I think what Mirabelle is saying here in a nutshell is: dating can be a lot of fun for an older woman/man for all the reasons she states and because of those things an older person can probably be more relaxed and enjoy the experience a lot more than when they were younger and maybe more anxious about the whole thing.

Anne

do not join a dating site too expensive and all need sex first, have an Email quizz where one asks questions then paertner asks you will learn more this way dont take their unfulfilled promises, be strong, be your normal self me? i am 90yrs and enjoying two partners one to kiss and one do all the odd jobs around the house Anna

Laura

I just turned 61 and am having the time of my life. Dancing like no one is looking and being myself for the first time really. I’ve spent a lot of money on these relationship sites, but it has definitely been worth it because it has given me so much more self-confidence. Just wish I could have know what I know now back in my 30’s as I feel I only have a few years left to enjoy. I’ve always had so much love to give, but have always picked the wrong ones to give it to. I am sure of my worth now. It shows and somehow is attracting men like sugar to flys.

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