To write this blog post, I personally surveyed thousands of men and women to find out what men really think about women, love, sex, and commitment …
… what questions women really want answered about the men in their lives …
… and how to boil it all down into a few simple, easily-applicable principles that you can use to improve your love life RIGHT NOW.
You’re about to dip your toe in a vast underground pool of private, behind-the-scenes “locker-room” information – a secret relationship resource for a select few of the smartest women, designed to teach you the hard-to-handle truth about how men think and what they really feel …
… about you.
You’ll learn how to interpret his secret masculine instincts … how to listen with your heart to what he’s REALLY saying … and how to recognize the daily patterns of truth and deceit in your very own relationship.
Here’s what this means for you:
You’re about to set yourself free from the constant wondering … the uncomfortable, undignified begging for validation, affection, and attention … and those painful feelings of being alone, lonely, and insecure.
With these secrets, he won’t have to “open up” to you any more, because you’ll ALREADY KNOW his deepest, most elemental secrets and behavioral truths.
(Truth be told, I really shouldn’t be sharing this stuff with you … it’s going to make a LOT of guys pretty upset … because these truths will expose the secret masks he uses when he doesn’t want you to know what he’s thinking.)
So what’s the deal?
Well, it all boils down to the key elements of understanding how a man’s mind and heart really works.
So let’s get started: two ugly truths about the male mind that you need to know.
(Warning: these truths are not pretty … reader discretion is strongly advised. Leave this page NOW if you’re easily offended.)
Fact: Men prioritize things differently to you, and they feel and deal with their emotions differently from you.
This is a FACT that’s based on sound evolutionary science and the basic principles of human anthropology.
Put simply, it comes from the fact that the male brain is wired VERY differently from the female brain.
(I know … big surprise, right?)
But in all seriousness, this has a MASSIVE impact on your life and the quality of your relationships with men.
Something that most women don’t realize is that men are just as excited about commitment, love, and having a truly committed relationship as YOU are…
… but, they feel things differently, they deal with those feelings differently, and they talk about them differently to you.
All this can create a lot of pain and hardship for women everywhere.
So the first thing you need to understand is that men view commitment, love, and marriage VERY differently from you.
In fact, to a man, the words “I love you” almost always do NOT mean what most women believe these words to mean …
… unless a VERY specific set of circumstances precedes those words.
And without those circumstances, he might as well be lying right to your face …
… and don’t bother confronting him about it, because he will never, EVER “come clean” and admit the truth.
(Why? Because if he ever told you the truth, you’d never sleep with him again. Simple as that.)
So here’s the shocking truth and what it really means for YOUR relationship…
(WARNING: if you are a woman and you’re reading this, prepare to feel uncomfortable …)
So here it is … the shocking truth based on the secret, most private, deep-down dirty and private truths coming right from the mouths of THOUSANDS of real-life men:
The words “I love you”, “I want to marry you”, and “I want to be with you forever” mean ZILCH when they come from a man’s mouth …
UNLESS he’s also proving that he means those words by the way he talks to you, touches you, and ACTS around you.
Sounds crazy, right?
But it’s not. It happens all the time. And here’s what it means for you:
Even though most women tend to place a lot of value on spoken words of commitment and love …
… when it comes to true commitment from a MAN, words are actually pretty much MEANINGLESS.
As a woman, you have a massive language center deep in your brain that outshines anything the pitiful male vocabulary can come up with.
(Matter of fact, women are so focused on language that they regularly produce vocal tones and subtle linguistic meanings that the male mind literally can’t even recognize.)
Men aren’t really “word creatures”. We’re creatures of the heart, the instinct, and the brutal, take-no-prisoners masculine “huntsman” attitude … not creatures of the vocab and the larynx.
Here’s why this matters:
To a man, real commitment comes from a deep-down feeling – a soul feeling – that a relationship is right and good, that you make him feel like a king, and that he simply wants to be with you because of the way you make him FEEL.
In other words, you need to get this fact about men:
To the male mind, commitment happens when he’s happy being with you.
And if he’s not FEELING that happiness, it doesn’t matter how much you “talk” about the relationship, how many times he says “I love you” …
… even if he presents you with a wedding ring.
Nope: to a guy …
… even if he’s shaping the words “I love you” with his lips RIGHT NOW …
… if he isn’t FEELING the commitment, it’s not happening … and the more you try and make it happen, the less it’ll happen.
And that’s why you can’t always TRUST those words that come out of his mouth. Because if your common sense is alerting you that something doesn’t quite “add up” … if he’s SAYING he’s happy but acting different … or if he’s telling you he loves you but you’re not so sure …
Chances are, you’re RIGHT.
The truth is, real commitment is something that just happens naturally when two people are really happy together.
It has nothing to do with promises, obligations, children, mortgages, or even legal contracts like marriage.
And guys KNOW it. This is simply how they operate.
So forget about all the surface “proof” of love and commitment. Forget about what he’s saying – and what you WANT him to say.
Instead, stop listening with your ears. Stop listening to his words. And start listening with your HEART.
Here is the ONLY question you’ll EVER need to ask yourself to ascertain how your man’s really feeling about you, your love, and your relationship:
Can you FEEL his love for you?
Because if you can’t …
… if he isn’t acting like a man who’s deeply in love …
… if he isn’t smiling with his entire face when he talks to you, openly enjoying your company, acting like he wants to take care of you, making sure you’re happy …
… and letting you know with his body language, his eyes, and his face that he loves you …
… then it doesn’t matter what he’s SAYING.
Commitment can’t be faked, and for a man, he will READILY LIE in order to keep you happy while he figures out for certain how he’s really feeling.
The truth is, true, genuine, spontaneous, unbreakable commitment comes from how he feels about himself when you’re around.
A man falls in love with YOU, sure … but the key secret ingredient of that love, the spark that sets his gunpowder alight, is how he feels ABOUT HIMSELF when he’s with you.
And nothing else matters.
NOT what he says…
… NOT what he gives you…
… and NOT even what he promises.
So what happens if your man’s NOT showing you with his heart that he’s happy?
What if he’s not feeling the commitment?
What if he’s LYING with his words … SAYING he loves you … but telling you in every other way that he’s not happy?
If your man is acting cold and distant, or if you even so much as suspect that things aren’t as rosy as they could be, first of all know this:
Remember, guys don’t change their feelings based on what you say to them.
But you don’t have to panic.
When you learn how to communicate with him in a way that his special male brain and instincts automatically recognize and assimilate, you’ll find his barriers melting like ice-cream on a hot sidewalk …
… and you’ll find him treating you with respect, love, and even genuine adoration, because you’ll be the ONE WOMAN who actually “gets” him, the ONE WOMAN who actually understands his needs, and the ONE WOMAN who can see for herself how he experiences relationships.
It’s powerful stuff.
And inside Why Men Pull Away, I use my years of experience as a nationally-recognized relationship coach …
… plus the secret, most private, little-known truths of THOUSANDS of real-life men …
… to expose all the ways you can reverse negative relationship patterns virtually overnight and start basking in the attention, affection, and adoration that you desire and deserve.
Here’s the thing: men believe in soul-mates just as much as you do.
However, guys are naturally more cautious about relationships and commitment.
It’s not that we don’t want to fall in love.
It’s that we need the circumstances to be exactly right first.
(There’s a reason why, in more than 50% of relationships, it’s not the man who says “I love you” first!)
To put it plainly: we need to know that we’re making you very, very happy before we’ll allow ourselves to risk falling in love. Being appreciated, complimented, and needed is a powerful turn-on for a man. It makes us feel … well, like men.
I know it’s not politically correct and all, but the plain and simple truth is that femininity draws in men like moths to a flame … and the more feminine you are, the more you make US feel like MEN …
… and the more we love you for it.
That means we need to be needed. Because like it or not, that’s what a man is for: to take care of you, to make sure you’re happy, and to please you.
So, being needed, being wanted, and knowing we’re doing a good job of doing it is the sweetest possible reward to a man.
And since we fall in love with YOU based on how you make us feel about OURSELVES … well, your appreciation makes us feel like Atlas, Hercules, and Brad Pitt all rolled into one.
And then we love you even more.
But not to be needed?
For a guy, that’s like death by Chinese water-torture: slow, humiliating, and agonizing. Only, this way, all our friends are watching … all YOUR friends are watching … and everyone else can look in and see how badly we’re getting on.
It’s all about masculinity. Remember, men fall in love based on how we feel about ourselves when we’re with you.
That means he needs to feel like a strong, powerful man before he can feel love for anyone else … including YOU.
So for a guy to fall deeply, irrevocably in love with you …
… he first needs to know that he’s “in the lead”:
He needs to know that you love him, that he pleases you, that you think he’s a big, juicy catch, and that his ex-girlfriend must have been NUTS to let him go.
He needs to know that he makes you happy before he’ll allow himself to experience the full strength of his love for you.
That’s just how guys are.
So what can you do to facilitate this nifty turn of events?
Well, it’s really quite simple: you just have to notice him more.
You know how you feel when you put on a really cute dress, do your hair, and generally spend about forty-five minutes pulling yourself together?
When you know you look hot … and you just want to be appreciated for it …
… but all you get from him is a noncommittal “you look nice”?
Guess what: guys feel the same way. His soul is CRYING OUT for a little feminine approval, congratulation, and yes, even adoration – from YOU.
He wants you to notice how broad his shoulders look in that suit.
He wants you to notice how movie-star scruffy his jawline looks with a 5 o’clock shadow.
He wants you to notice how white his teeth are, how amazing his smile is, that he has a cute butt, that you love being around him.
All you have to remember is that the strength of his love for you is based directly on how awesome he feels about himself when you’re in the room with him.
And for any man to feel like his happiest, strongest, most generous, masculine self, he needs to know that YOU love and appreciate HIM ALSO.
NOTE: this doesn’t mean saying the words “I love you” a whole lot.
Remember, guys aren’t particularly strong on the words front. Instead, he’s looking for you to show it in ways that he can recognize and appreciate.
So pay attention to the details, break out the compliments, squeeze his biceps admiringly … and maybe pat him on the butt every now and then in passing.
He’ll love you for it …
… and more importantly, he’ll FEEL your love for him – in such a way that allows him to fall even deeper in love with YOU.
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