How to Get a Guy

When people ask me how to get a guy, many assume it requires a complete turnaround of their personalities.  I tell them that being attractive isn’t about overhauling yourself, but simply working on what you already have.

It’s a common misconception that the lack of a relationship also means you’re “incomplete” in some way.  That couldn’t be more wrong in every sense!

Finding a man becomes harder with this kind of mindset because all your actions and motives come from a needy place.  When you look to men for shreds of validation or self-worth, it automatically lowers a man’s respect for you.

Keep in mind that a partner is meant to enhance your life, not define it.  Your life is spectacular whether you’re single for the moment or otherwise.  Being in between relationships doesn’t have any bearing on who you are as a woman, remember that.

If you look at it from this perspective, knowing how to find a guy suddenly doesn’t seem so tough anymore.

Having said all of that, here are a couple of quick pointers on attracting men into your life without breaking a sweat:

#1: Don’t quash your opinions just to please him

Sometimes, being the in the presence of a really hot guy can cause us to act all crazy and flustered-like.  But as I’ve told my friends who’ve fallen into this all-too-common situation, you need to resist the temptation to suddenly transform into a spineless, ultra-subservient version of yourself.

Contrary to what some might think, guys aren’t into “nice girls”; the term implies throwing all your preferences out the window (and your self-esteem in the process) to make him like you better.

Don’t mix up being a pushover for being laid-back.  It’s OK to be a cool, easy-going girl who isn’t high-maintenance in the emotional sense.  However, it’s not OK to just sit their quietly and agree with absolutely everything he says or wants.

He’ll respect you more for having your own views, granted that you aren’t ramming it down his throat.  And of course, you shouldn’t go the extreme opposite by arguing about every little thing that you don’t happen to agree on.

All I’m advocating here is a healthy middle ground where you’re laid-back enough to respect his views but won’t hesitate to speak up when needed!

The women who have their own voice are the same ones who know how to get a guy in the long run.

#2: Learn how to back off from time to time

Lots of women complain that guys are often a tough nut to crack.  It’s quite common for girls to constantly pester their guy to “express himself more” or “open up about his feelings”.

For instance, men fear the “We need to talk” kind of conversation where he has to prove that the relationship is “on the right track” (or some other needy drivel like that).

Oh, and don’t forget the “What’s wrong?” line of questioning either.  Being concerned can easily be confused with trying to “fix” him.

News flash: Men don’t need any fixing and they certainly don’t appreciate being backed into a corner about these things.

Instead, drop him a hint by asking a few non-coercive questions.  He’ll come around and open up in his own good time.

In summary, you’re better off playing it cool, especially at the beginning.  Don’t be scared to leave a little room for some mystery by not hovering over your man so much!

When you can live your life without being in his face 24/7, this lack of neediness prevents you from giving up all of your power to him.

(Your life is just as great without him, remember?)

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that people in a balanced relationship give each other just the right amount of space they need to breathe as individuals.  The lack of this element can very well drive a man out of your life.