One of the things that guys often ask us is how to get a girl to desire you and want to sleep with you… WITHOUT coming across as a player or a jerk.
Are you in this boat?
You may have made it through the first few dates with a woman you really like, but want to know how to turn up the heat and take things to the next step.
Or perhaps you’re already in a relationship and want to know how to amp things up a notch and have your good-girl girlfriend turn into a wildcat and drag you by the claws to the bedroom.
Or maybe you’re single and want to know how to draw that cute girl across the bar to you like a magnet.
Whichever boat you are in, this article will give you all the secrets you need to put the chemistry into overload mode and make her want you like never before.
Because the truth is, when it comes to a woman’s enjoyment of sex, it really is more about how wanted and desirable a man makes her feel, and the effort he puts in to pleasing HER in the bedroom. Rather than how hot, rich, smart, or athletic he is.
As you will find out, there are a few elements which come into making a woman hot with desire.
First of all, you have to present yourself at your best. You have to be warm enough to break down her defences, and then confident and masculine enough to create the sexual energy she craves. Are you up for the challenge?
Boost up your attractiveness
Before a woman can desire you, you have to BE desirable.
Her looks matter to you, right? So it only makes sense that yours matter to her, too.
Looking good is not about having model features or being someone different, it is about putting effort in to look YOUR best. This means working with what you’ve got and feeling sexy in your own skin.
First of all, make sure you choose outfits that fit well, are clean and are in good condition. A nice dress shirt is usually really flattering on any guy and can be dressed either up or down for the occasion. You just don’t want to have a shirt that is either bulging at the seams, or as baggy as a tent.
You want to look sharp, confident and manly – not sloppy, scruffy, or boyish. So that she feels thrilled at being on the arm of such a well-dressed MAN, and feels feminine in comparison. You don’t want to make her feel embarrassed to be out with you, when you turn up in a scruffy shirt and casual shoes.
Get a haircut which suits you and accentuates your facial features. If you don’t know what you want, simply ask the barber to give you a style which will suit you. And have a shave or trim your facial hair. A big scruffy beard or moustache is an instant turn-off. In fact, a lot of women don’t like facial hair in general…
Remember, if she is dating you, or is your girlfriend, she is obviously already attracted to you.
But seeing you make a real effort in your appearance can really make her feel special, as she will take this as a sign that you care about her and her impressions of you. This is sure to make her desire you more and want to show you her appreciation.
Intoxicate her with your scent (in a good way!)
Never underestimate the power of scent. I can tell you now that women NOTICE.
In fact, the musky scent of a sexy cologne can turn the head of every woman a man walks past and have them breathing it in, regardless of the way he looks. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen. I may have even been one of those head-turning women.
Why do men and women spend so much money every year on scented shower gels, soaps, moisturizers, aftershaves, colognes, and perfumes? Because they WORK.
Have you ever caught a whiff of the sweet smell of a woman’s perfume or body lotion? Chances are, you found her instantly more attractive after this.
And an unfavourable scent will do just the opposite. Smelling someone’s foul breath, armpit-stink, or foot odour is a major instant turn off, no matter how good looking the hygiene criminal may be.
So dude, you gotta keep up the hygiene if you have a hope of hooking your dream girl.
You know the drill: regular showering, hair washing, tooth brushing, flossing, nail clipping, foot scrubbing, and using deodorant. It’s not hard, you just need to make these part of your daily routine so they become habit (although I’m sure you already do these things anyway).
Now to add the magic touch. If you don’t already own a nice cologne or aftershave, I seriously recommend you go and buy one. If you need help choosing one, try taking a trusted female friend or family member, or ask the shop assistant for advice.
The trick with using cologne is that less is more, so try keeping it down to a couple of quick sprays on your neck (no one wants to be engulfed in someone’s fumes).
Breathing in the scent of a foul-smelling man can make a woman gag. But breathing in a man’s sexy masculine scent can leave her spellbound and flushed with devilish thoughts.
Create intimacy outside of the bedroom
It’s respectful to not expect sex on the first couple of dates. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create intimacy and leave the woman you’re going out with wanting more.
If you’re feeling the attraction is there, you can find small ways to be intimate during your dates. The first way is simply to create desire through eye contact. Never underestimate the chemistry that maintaining deep and full eye contact with someone can spark.
In fact, deep eye contact can cause pleasurable chemicals to be released in her brain which increase her feelings of attraction, closeness, and lust for sex.
Your eyes are all you need to show her how much you desire her. With your eyes, you can show interest in what she is saying, increase desire, and show appreciation for her body.
As she moves, follow her with your eyes, and occasionally let them run down her body, or down her face to her lips. Just don’t focus on her boobs or ass while you are talking to her (you will just come across as seedy!).
You can always find little playful ways to touch if the feeling is right. For example, putting your hand on her back as you walk through the door, brushing her hand against yours as you walk side by side, giving her a playful push on the shoulder if she teases you, and of course kissing her at the end of the night.
Let’s talk about that kiss. When it comes to the first kiss, less is more. You don’t want to go into a full-on pash – take her by surprise and instead go in for a soft but meaningful kiss while holding her head with your hand. She will be left desperate for more when you say goodnight.
If you are already in a relationship, cranking up the heat involves finding frequent ways to be intimate with your girl outside of the bedroom. Being increasingly intimate during your day-to-day life will greatly increase her desire to get busy with you in the bedroom.
Think of any touching outside of the bedroom as a build-up of foreplay. It helps to increase the closeness between you and makes her feel loved and desired. I’m sure you love it too when you girl cuddles up to you on the couch at night!
Try hugging her from behind when she’s not expecting it, giving her a kiss on the forehead, holding her hand, and just putting your arm around her when you’re sitting down together at home. And for extra points, you can offer to give her a massage.
Another amazingly effective way of getting your girl hot is to whisper your desires in her ear. As you hug her from behind, whisper to her how sexy she is. If you are out on a date with your girlfriend, whisper about how you can’t wait to get her home. Or simply whisper “I love you”.
While men are turned on by visual triggers, women are turned on by words. Stimulate her erotic desires by telling her exactly what you have in mind for later.
Draw her in with your warm and funny side
Funny = sexy?
Surprisingly, yes – humour and great conversation can really increase a woman’s lust for a man.
It’s just like what we mentioned above about the whispering, women need to be turned on through their MINDS in order to achieve their full sexual potential. And they need to feel safe and comfortable in your presence.
So let her see your warm and funny side, to build that sexual chemistry and awaken her erotic goddess. The more she trusts you, the more she will open herself up to you. I feel sorry for the men who never learn to make a woman feel like this, because they are REALLY missing out in the bedroom!
All it takes to make her feel happy and relaxed is to smile, make eye contact, laugh, and show that you are genuinely enjoying yourself. Then add in the flirting, teasing and compliments. You can even get a little playful and suggestive if the mood is right!
Make sure she knows how special she is and how much you desire her by giving her genuine compliments. “You are so damn irresistible in that dress!”
And don’t be afraid to bare your true feelings and get a little vulnerable every once and awhile. She wants to feel that you are genuine and that she is the special girl who you are letting under your skin.
If you can make her FEEL like she is far more amazing in your eyes than any other woman, she will BE more amazing to you than any other woman.
Project masculinity in your actions
Women are biologically driven towards masculinity – men who are confident in themselves and give women a message that they can be relied on. So that in your presence, she feels safe, valued, feminine and sensual.
A vital aspect of being masculine is showing initiative and self-confidence. So rather than always turning decisions over to her (e.g. “I don’t know”, “you pick”, “I don’t mind”, “it’s up to you”), be decisive and take a bit of control.
For example, be the one to organise the first date. Show her that you can get things sussed.
When you are first dating, chances are your lady is pretty wary about coming across as seeming like a tramp by being too bold. So she’s very likely to be waiting for YOU to make the first move.
She probably already wants you, but she needs to know that YOU WANT HER. She probably won’t go home with you on the first date, but does she want to think that YOU want to sleep with her? Absolutely!
If you come across as being timid when it comes to sex, shy away from talking about it, and never make the move to escalate things, you need to make a change. A woman needs to feel that you are someone who knows what he’s doing and can take control in the bedroom (especially at the start of your relationship).
Confidence is sexy, and having you leading things in the bedroom will make her feel sexy and wanted. The more you make her feel this way, the more her sexual goddess will take over.
Please note that this is not about learning to ‘dominate’ a woman – that’s not what I mean at all. It’s just about making her feel desirable, taking initiative and showing that you are confident enough to take things to the next level.
Stay just a little out of reach
Sometimes a little role reversal can be a good thing.
Have YOU ever tried playing hard to get? Or are you always the one chasing women?
When a woman sees that she is going to have some fun chasing after you and working to make you want her, her levels of sexual attraction immediately increase.
So be a little mysterious – give her the gift of missing you. Having to work a bit to get your attention will make her feel that you are a catch and are not to be taken for granted.
However, this doesn’t mean ignoring your girl or coming across as cold (as this kind of behaviour will more than likely just put her off!).
It means being someone who lives such a full and enjoyable life that he isn’t always available to meet up at the drop of a hat. Someone who has other people in his life he values, social occasions he attends, and interests he enjoys.
Remember, these parts of your life make you all the more interesting to her, and knowing that you are a man of value will only make her all the more crazily euphoric when she is finally able to pin you down.
Brooke Ryan,
Author.
MeetYourSweet.com